Mindfulness for Better Sex
Sexuality, a vital aspect of human connection and well-being, is often stigmatized, yet integral to our existence. Sex therapy addresses internalized societal messages about sex and combats distractions that hinder pleasure, such as intrusive thoughts during intimacy. Mindfulness emerges as a crucial tool, promoting present-moment awareness and non-judgmental observation of sensations, essential for sexual awakening. By refocusing on the physical and emotional experiences of the "now," individuals can overcome barriers to desire and satisfaction, even in cases of low sexual desire, chronic pain, or post-cancer treatment sexual challenges. Mindfulness creates space for intimacy and connection by clearing mental clutter, fostering a deeper, more fulfilling sexual experience.
Saying No can Change your Life
Adults often struggle to say "no," unlike the decisive four-year-old, leading to overextension and resentment. We're conditioned to be agreeable, but this often means neglecting our own needs and priorities. To reclaim agency, create a "Concern Budget" outlining your essential commitments and values, and practice the "PAUSE" before responding to requests. This pause allows for thoughtful consideration, preventing rushed "yeses" that derail your schedule. Learning to say "no" gracefully, without apology, empowers you to prioritize your well-being and reclaim your time, freeing you from unnecessary obligations and fostering a sense of liberation.
The # 1 Reason We Engage in Hot & Cold Relationships
Inconsistent relationships thrive on intermittent reinforcement, like slot machines, where sporadic "hot" periods create addictive anticipation. Initial intensity fosters strong positive associations, making subsequent "cold" periods anxiety-inducing. We chase the fleeting "hot" to relieve this anxiety, hoping for a return to the beginning. While behaviorist techniques offer temporary relief, existential psychology emphasizes aligning relationships with personal values. By pausing to reflect on whether a relationship provides pleasure, peace, or purpose, we can choose to disengage from incongruent patterns and seek authentic connections.
What is Sensate Focus?
Sensate focus, a core technique in psychological sex therapy developed by Masters & Johnson, blends mindfulness and gradual exposure to address sexual anxiety and improve intimacy. It involves structured touching exercises, shifting focus from goal-oriented sex to sensory experiences. While it may resemble CBT, its foundation lies in mindfulness, an approach predating CBT. By focusing on present-moment awareness and non-judgmental observation of sensations, sensate focus helps clients manage anxiety related to touch and intimacy. It's a versatile tool for various sexual difficulties, including body image issues, erectile dysfunction, and orgasm disorders. Existential psychotherapy, while often addressing underlying psychological concerns, recognizes sensate focus as a valuable, complementary method, making it a "Swiss Army knife" in sex therapy.
3 Ways Mindfulness Accidentally Increases Attraction
Mindfulness, often associated with new-age practices, surprisingly enhances attraction. It's about being fully present, focusing on the "now," which directly translates to attentive interaction. When someone makes you feel like the center of their world, it's captivating. In our distracted lives, genuine, focused attention is rare and highly valued. Mindfulness cultivates this: slowing down, providing undivided attention, and offering non-judgmental listening. These actions signal control, interest, and acceptance, all unconsciously attractive qualities. By being present, you offer a rare, meaningful connection, making you indispensable. Even seemingly "average" past partners who initially captivated you likely tapped into these principles. Mindfulness, beyond its therapeutic uses in sex therapy, creates authentic, attractive interactions.