Relationships can feel complicated, especially when you consider all of the components involved in relating to others in our lives.

A key tenet to both existential psychology & sex therapy is evaluating the relationships that one has with others. With this in mind, relationship therapy is not limited to intimate relationships. It also encompasses how we relate to all human beings in the world (work, family, etc).

My philosophy as a sex therapist is to take a stance of curiosity, openness and understanding to view clients’ lived experiences without attributing meanings of my own and to come anew to what clients are experiencing. In session, I encourage both partners to describe their experience in as much detail as possible.

Only when we truly understand each person’s concerns do we begin to uncover the meanings inherent in the current troubles. These meanings are left to emerge naturally from the process, rather than being dragged out into the open through a structured, robotic questioning process. Existential therapists help people to find their own meanings rather than imposing meanings and interpretations on them or providing behavioral procedures that may alleviate the symptom while leaving the core issue intact. Clients are free to articulate themselves in their own language and in doing so make their own connections to the wider context (van Deurzen, 2012).

Relationship therapy with an existential emphasis allows partners to explore how they want to live, what they believe in and what creative possibilities might exist. It enables them to find a safe place to explore the way in which they are together and for learning to become more loving towards themselves and each other. This process will often extend to clients becoming clearer in their relationships those outside of the couple as well. The work consists of inviting each partner to explore, quite intimately and safely, in front of the other, what it is that they want from and understand about life. This involves exploring tensions, misunderstandings, dilemmas, conflicts, contradictions and resentments. The proces is one of expressing, recognizing and challenging old assumptions and prejudices and thinking through the consequences of various ways to respond.

When we experience difficulties with intimacy, learning to live with these issues whilst loving another can be a whirlwind of challenges and disappointments. Couples who seek relationship therapy are looking for a way to reconnect with one another and understand the existential predicaments that they each face.

At Liaison., I understand that relationships are one of the most challenging aspects of life. Ultimately it is always about finding a new and creative way forward that provides dignity, meaning, purpose and pleasure for everyone involved. It is also about partners becoming more able to tune into themselves and learn to express who they are for the other and with the other. Only then, can they feel free enough to be true partners to each other. Steeming from this comes a new way of relating and loving.

Embracing the capacity for living together in a loving manner is always the goal. To achieve it, one is often required to explore many different paths. However, the journey always involves mutual respect, reciprocity, mutuality and a fierce commitment to the other's as well as to ones' own well-being.