The Therapeutic Side of BDSM
This article explores how BDSM can be a therapeutic tool for some survivors of sexual trauma. While research shows that BDSM practitioners do not have higher rates of trauma or psychological dysfunction, survivors who are drawn to kink may find it healing due to its emphasis on constant consent, intentional power exchange and structured intimacy.
The article emphasizes that BDSM is not a cure and should not replace trauma therapy, but when approached ethically with consent, care and emotional literacy, it can be a powerful framework for healing, self-discovery and reclamation.
Real Change Starts Inside: Why Mindset Matters More Than Behavior
In existential sex therapy, real change begins with a conscious shift in mindset—not just behavior. This shift is a personal choice that no therapist or partner can make for you. True transformation happens when you take responsibility for your patterns, question your internal beliefs and decide to live in alignment with your values, not your fears.
You Can’t Control Others—But You Can Choose Your Response
You can’t control other people—but you can always choose how you respond.
In existential sex therapy, this truth is central. Drawing from Stoicism, Rollo May and Emmy van Deurzen, the post explores how trying to change others often masks deeper fears. Instead of seeking control, both philosophies encourage self-responsibility, clarity, and authentic choice.
Your power doesn’t lie in managing others—it lies in how you live, love, and respond.
Choosing a Partner: Beyond “Checking Boxes” and Toward Character
An existential sex therapist urges us to move beyond checklist dating and choose partners based on values and character, not surface traits. True intimacy comes from shared authenticity, emotional depth and the courage to face life’s uncertainties together—not from perfect compatibility. Existential sex therapy supports this deeper, more meaningful approach to relationships.
When Pleasure Becomes a Chore: An Existential Take on Sex and Intimacy
This blog post from an existential sex therapist explores why sex can feel like a chore, despite being meant for pleasure. Using principles of existential sex therapy, it reframes sexual disconnection not as dysfunction, but as a loss of personal meaning. It encourages embracing ambivalence, questioning cultural expectations, and reclaiming agency. The core message: sex should be a choice, not an obligation—and pleasure begins with meaning.
What You Do Not Change, You Choose: An Existential Reflection on Intimacy and Avoidance
This blog post, from an existential sex therapist’s perspective, explores the idea that "what you do not change, you choose." In relationships, especially around sexual intimacy, avoiding difficult conversations—about desire, disconnection or unmet needs—is still a choice that leads to deeper disconnection.
Rather than blaming or avoiding, the post encourages couples to take responsibility, face discomfort and intentionally rebuild connection. It reframes sex as a space for meaning and emotional truth—not just performance. Avoidance shapes your relationship as much as action does. To feel more connected, choose to show up, speak honestly and change what isn’t working.