Genevieve Marcel 3/27/25 Genevieve Marcel 3/27/25

Sex & Your Mindset

Houston Sex Therapy | Houston Sexual Trauma Therapy | Houston Sex Therapist

“When it comes to sex, the most important six inches are the ones between the ears.”

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer

Dr. Ruth was ahead of her time when she made this statement.

Clients are always surprised when I begin the discussion of mindfulness in a sex therapy session. Many clients expect that sessions are inundated with “tips and tricks”. Don’t misunderstand…that is a topic of discussion at times. However, the key to embracing sexual pleasure almost always involves mindfulness. Why is that?

According to Gurney (2020), the conditions for good sex involve 3 things:

Psychological Arousal

Physical Touch

Being in the Moment

It is pretty easy to recognize that 2 of the conditions for good sex involve your mind. In this article, we will discuss those two conditions for good sex as we would discuss them in sex therapy.

Psychological arousal pretty much refers to how you are able to take in what is happening around you and view it as erotically stimulating. This involves everything from the environment, how safe & comfortable you feel, the excitement you experience in someone’s presence, visual stimuli, eye contact, sexuality and the connection between you the your partner. Another way to consider this is how you relate to your environment from an erotic or sensual perspective. Ask yourself questions like: Does seeing her in that red dress arouse your senses? Does the timbre of his voice signal attraction for you? If these elements are piqued, arousal is afoot.

How can you maximize this, you ask? You guessed it. Mindfulness. With mindfulness, you focus every part of your being on the aspect of interest. If it is her dress, you begin to become focused on various aspects of the dress that may be easily overlooked if your focus is fragmented. You notice the seam of the dress of the side, the way the fabric moves. How it clings to her body. In a sense, you become seduced by the dress or whatever aspect on which you are focused. We naturally do this when we are introduced to something new or intriguing. We pay much more attention to the details of something new than something that we see everyday. We become mindful of every aspect and, in turn, become seduced by it. This seduction that we commit on ourselves translates to a psychological arousal. We can do the same thing with aspects of our mate. We may focus on the curvature of one’s body, the tone of voice and how it fluctuates etc. This is a psychological arousal.

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The best way to create psychological arousal is by being in the moment. Genuine presence is essentially the very definition of mindfulness. In sex therapy, we focus profoundly on keeping our thoughts in the present moment. If your focus is turned only to what is happening at the time and you allow yourself to become immersed in the moment, you allow yourself to be seduced by the little details that are easily missed when our thoughts are in the past or the future. Your focus is on being present with 100% of your being with your partner. If your thoughts are turned to the report that you need to complete while your mate is holding your hand, you are missing the connection that is literally right in front of you. Years of missing that connection gradually slides into ambivalence in the relationship.

Granted, it is completely natural to be distracted by a mental thought from the day or what is needed for tomorrow. However, the more comfortable you become with redirecting your attention to the present moment, the less pull the distractions will have. The reality is that we might exist somewhere between distraction & presence, but the closer we are to being present, the better the connection with our mate.

In sex therapy, we talk quite a bit about mindset. Our mindset is the most valuable key to sexual pleasure that we have. And it really is true that the most important sex organ is between your ears.

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Reference

Gurney, K. (2020). Mind the gap: The truth about desire, and how to futureproof your sex life. Headline Home.

Genevieve Marcel 3/20/25 Genevieve Marcel 3/20/25

4 Types of Sexual Dysfunctions & How to Cope

Houston Sex Therapy | Houston Sexual Trauma Therapy | Houston Sex Therapist

What is sexual dysfunction?

Sexual dysfunction is any issue that hinders someone from experiencing satisfaction during sexual activity. Sexual dysfunction affects people of all gender identities and sexual orientations. These issues are categorized into 4 areas:

Arousal Issues: Something that impairs one’s ability to become aroused or maintain arousal.
Desire Disorders: Lack of sexual desire or interest.
Pain Disorders: Pain related to sexual activity.
Orgasm Disorders: Inability to experience orgasm or a delay in orgasm.

How common is sexual dysfunction?

Sexual issues are very common. Roughly 43% of women and 31% of men report some version of sexual dysfunction. The well-known issues include erectile dysfunction, lack of desire, ejaculation that is delayed or premature & premature or delayed orgasm.

What’s the cause of sexual dysfunction?

The causes can range from medical, hormonal, medication-induced to psychological. When these issues impact one’s emotional well-being or relationship, a sex therapist may be able to help.

What to do about sexual dysfunction

Embracing your support system or your tribe is an important first step in dealing with sexual dysfunction. Support can present via your family, friends, partner(s), medical doctor, sex therapist, etc. Talking about our issues can be therapeutic.

What prevents our from talking to our support system? Sadly, there is immense stigma surrounding sexual dysfunction. With that said, silence perpetuates the issue. People do not like to discuss their problems in general. Once you layer in the sexual component, many people find it even more difficult to discuss.

Disclosing sexual dysfunctions to your partner(s) provides them with the opportunity to be there in a supportive role & help navigate the issue effectively. While the dysfunction may only be happening to one partner, it undoubtedly affects everyone within the relationship.

Without talking about it, many people may attempt to engage in sexual activity only to end up frustrated when the dysfunction makes it difficult to perform or enjoy sex. Another common outcome is that people stop engaging in sex as often or even all together as a form of avoidance. Forced abstinence for the sake of avoiding disclosing sexual dysfunction is the antithesis of living life authentically and with joy.

Consult a Medical Doctor

Medical or psychological treatment is usually necessary for sexual dysfunctions. Consulting with your medical doctor (primary care physician, OBGYN or urologist) to assess for physical or homonal causes that should be treated medically would be the first step. In cases where medication or medical intervention is not necessary or not an option, seeing a therapist who is knowledgeable in this area can be beneficial.

Talk Therapy with a Sex Therapist

Once medical issues are ruled out after a physical examination with a physician, then therapy is a logical next step. However, if a medical condition is identified, therapy can still be beneficial as it may assist you to learn how to cope with the identified issue. Individual therapy for the person experiencing the difficulty with a trained sex therapist can be key.

The idea of working with a therapist may be intimidating, but it has the potential to be incredibly helpful. A sex therapist provides a safe space to discuss the issue and how it affects you. You will also learn techniques to help you manage it.

Couples therapy with a sex therapist can help the couple navigate the problem more effectively as a team. You and your partner can learn ways to improve the issue or how to work with the issue in ways that still promote healthy sexuality. Communication is key.

Sexual dysfunction does not have to dictate your sexual future. Men with erectile issues can still have amazing sexual connection & women who experience pain during intercourse can embrace their sexual selves.

Houston Sex Therapy | Houston Sexual Trauma Therapy | Houston Sex Therapist

Genevieve Marcel 3/19/25 Genevieve Marcel 3/19/25

5 Signs It’s Time to See a Sex Therapist

Are you wondering exactly what a sex therapist does? First things first. No, they do not have sex with their clients.

Now that we got that out of the way….

Sex therapy is psychotherapy or talk therapy to treat individuals and couples with issues related to sex & relationships. Sex therapists are fully licensed mental health professionals who are educated & trained to administer psychotherapy to clients experiencing sexual issues and concerns.

Sex therapists have extensive knowledge of human sexuality — exceedingly more than the 2 hours that we were pulled out of class for in the 5th grade. Sex therapists use this knowledge of sexuality & clinical psychology to help clients attain their personal relationship goals. The focus is on sexuality & relationships and how those aspects impact an individual or a couple’s functioning.

People are often uncertain of when to see a sex therapist vs. a general mental health therapist. The reality is that if you have a sex-related concern that needs to be addressed, a sex therapist may provide insight. A general therapist may be able to assist you as well. However, sex therapists have embarked upon specialized training and are very knowledgeable of topics that are sex related.

But when should you seek sex therapy?

Desire/Arousal

The most common reason people consider sex therapy is for a change in sexual desire or if one experiences “mismatched desire” in relation to their partner. In couple’s sex therapy, this concern is quite common & creates quite the challenge when there is a desire discrepancy in the couple. Without properly addressing this discrepancy, the effect on the relationship can be considerable.

The second most common reason people consider sex therapy is for changes or difficulty with sexual arousal. Without sexual arousal, a satisfying sexual experience may prove elusive. Both arousal and desire issues are often related, incredibly common, but also very achievable in sex therapy.
Sexual Confidence

Many people struggle with sexual confidence. Everything related to sex places one in the most vulnerable position possible. Concerns with sexual confidence can make it difficult to stay mentally present during sex. If we have anxiety about our bodies or what the other may be thinking, then we are not in the right mindset to embrace all that our partner can emotionally offer. Sexual confidence concerns can present as body image issues, obsessing over genital size or appearance, thinking about pleasing or disappointing a partner, having the agency to communicate what you want, or even having the ability to talk about sex. A sex therapist can assist you with identifying the issue & treating it, as well as empowering clients in their sexuality.
Sexual Dysfunctions

When many people think of sex therapy, sexual dysfunction is what comes to mind. Approximately 43% of women and 31% of men experience some form of sexual dysfunction. When people think of sexual dysfunction the following issues spring to mind: erectile dysfunction, female pain disorders, orgasm difficulty and delayed/premature ejaculation.

These concerns are often treated via talk therapy accompanied by psychological interventions. These treatment options can increase insight and understanding of the issue. Some psychological interventions assist in examining the role of shame, guilt, anxiety, relational challenges or cemented beliefs that can exacerbate the sexual dysfunction.

Often, “homework assignments” executed at home help with improving the issue. Homework may include mindfulness exercises to use before, during or after sexual experiences to improve sexual satisfaction & performance.
Before starting sex therapy work, medical evaluations with an OB/GYN or urologist are often recommended to rule out medical causes of sexual dysfunction. In the event that a medical cause is identified, sex therapy can often be beneficial to learn to cope with an issue that is chronic in nature.
Compulsive Sexual Behaviors

Even amongst sex therapists, the matter of compulsive sexual behaviors is controversial. It is so controversial that even the name of the concern is fiercely debated. It has been called out of control sexual behavior, sex addiction, sexual compulsivity, hypersexuality and, of course, compulsive sexual behavior. The reason that it is hotly contested is that it is debatable as to if it can be properly categorized as an addiction. Many sex therapists question if it truly fits the diagnostic criteria for an addiction as addiction is currently defined. Not everyone agrees that it is in fact an addiction. Some experts believe it to be more of a sexual health problem within a larger consideration of human behavior, not a psychiatric or addictive disorder. Either way, these behaviors cause distress and impact overall functioning.

Sexual behaviors that feel compulsive are a valid reason to see a sex therapist. Sex therapists have engaged in training specifically to treat the compulsive sexual behavior without fanning the flames of shame or guilt. Sex therapists have been trained to skillfully address these concerns in a compassionate & nonjudgmental manner.
Sexual Trauma Recovery

Anyone that is treating clients for sex therapy exclusively is also well-versed in various forms of trauma, including sexual trauma. Experienced sexual trauma therapists assist sexual trauma survivors in working through a traumatic experience at the pace that is best for the client. Since a sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional, trauma work is often second nature. The advantage that a sex therapist has lies in the knowledge and experience of assisting clients through the trauma, but also embracing their sexuality in an empowering way after the trauma of assault. Reclaiming pleasure & sexuality is incredibly empowering especially after sexual trauma. Sex therapists are adept in this area.

Insecurities, fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection or abandonment are the often culpable in sexual dysfunction. A sex therapist can assist with navigating these concerns.

Believe it or not, sex therapy looks just like traditional talk therapy except the topic of conversation sometimes includes sex. Sex therapists are licensed mental health professionals who have completed specialized training to better understand human sexuality, sexual functioning and how that affects us psychologically.

Both couples & individuals can receive insight & experience positive relationship changes from working with a sex therapist. If you have experienced any of the five aforementioned concerns, you may be a candidate for sex therapy.

Genevieve Marcel 3/17/25 Genevieve Marcel 3/17/25

Sexual Trauma Therapy: 4 Benefits from A Sexual Trauma Therapist

Sexual assault rates bring to light a troubling situation as data from the CDC indicates that sexual violence affects more than 1 in 4 women and more than 1 in 25 men at some time in their lives. As Sexual Assault Awareness month is in April, Liaison.’s main goal during this month is to provide therapeutic options that may help you return to your life. Sexual trauma therapy options following the occurrence of sexual assault can serve as part of your wellness process.

Houston Sex Therapy | Houston Sexual Trauma Therapy | Houston Relationship Therapy

What We Mean by Sexual Trauma Therapy?

The types of therapy which can prove beneficial following a sexual assault:

• Psychotherapy (cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, existential psychotherapy)
• Group therapy

• Prescription medications prescribed by a psychiatrist

The different ways that patients experience sexual assault demand a wide selection of treatment options that can be applied together.

1. Moving Past, but through the Sexual Trauma

The experience of sexual assault creates a dynamic that places survivors at risk for developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Approximately 48% of sexual assault survivors develop clinical symptoms of PTSD that include:

Repeated encounters with traumatic memories appear through flashbacks or nightmares

• Avoidance
• Overriding negative thoughts and beliefs
• Startling easily

The therapeutic process of sexual trauma therapy treats PTSD and minimizes its formation.

2. Reclaim Your Sexual Health

Sexual health difficulties may develop following a sexual assault. Liaison. will assist you in creating a separation between the sexual assault and your sexual health through sex therapy.

3. Improve Your Physical Health

The sexual trauma can contribute to the development of physical health problems such as

• Gastrointestinal distress

• Cardiovascular disease

Working with a sexual trauma therapist can help improve long-term physical health outcomes.

4. Take Back Your Power

For many people, the realizations made in sex therapy & sexual trauma therapy often lead to this major advantage. Liaison. assists survivors of sexual assault & sexual trauma to restore their personal power. Sexual trauma therapy can provide ways to regain control of your life.

Houston Sex Therapy | Houston Sexual Trauma Therapy | Houston Relationship Therapy

Genevieve Marcel 3/16/25 Genevieve Marcel 3/16/25

Sex Therapy: How It Can Improve Intimacy, Relationships, and Sexual Wellness

First things first: What exactly is sex therapy & what does a sex therapist do?

Sex therapists are licensed mental health professionals (psychotherapists, psychologists, psychiatrists) that engage in talk therapy to assist clients in resolving mental or emotional aspects of sex-related issues. Sex therapists engage in additional education beyond licensure have a more profound understanding of human sexuality. Sex therapists use psychotherapy (talk therapy) to help clients work through sexual issues. Sex therapists work with individuals, couples & polyamorous partners.

Sex therapists can help treat various iterations of sexual dysfunction that have psychological aspects. As many relationships have a sexual component, the mental and emotional facets of our relationships play a role in sexual health. Sex therapists should work with clients in a supportive, nonjudgmental, inclusive and safe environment.

How does sex therapy help?

Sex therapists utilize various evidence-based treatments to assist clients with improving their sex lives. Most often, sex therapists use psychotherapy (known as talk therapy). Psychotherapy involves cultivating a talking relationship to establish and assess a client’s feelings, thoughts and behaviors. Options of psychotherapy for sex therapy may include:

Existential Psychotherapy.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.
Mindfulness-based interventions.
Couples communication techniques.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

Is sex therapy confidential?

Confidentiality is integral to the field of sex therapy. As part of a licensed sex therapist’s code of ethics, it is required that sex therapists prioritize confidentiality and maintaining your privacy. Psychotherapists who violate client confidentiality risk losing their ability to practice therapy.

What issues do sex therapists treat?

Sexual activity & intimacy is a complex experience that involves your emotional, mental and physical self. If one is desirous of sexual activity in any way, sexual function is an important contributor to quality of life and your well-being. If clients have sexual trauma in their history, this can also play a role in how they present sexually. Sexual trauma therapy also falls within sex therapy.

Sex therapists and sex educators view sexual activity through Rosemary Basson’s circular model sexual response cycle:

Thomas, Holly N. et al. (2016). *Biopsychosocial approach to women’s sexual function and dysfunction at midlife: A narrative review.*
Maturitas, Volume 87, 49 - 60

Sexual issues can arise at any point during this sexual response cycle. Understanding how you respond mentally and physically during each phase can improve your sexual experience and help you pinpoint causes of sexual dysfunction.

A sex therapist can help help you uncover the mental & emotional aspects of various types of sexual dysfunction, including:

Lack of desire.
Lack of arousal.
Difficulty having an orgasm (anorgasmia).
Pain during sex (dyspareunia).
Vaginismus.
Difficulty obtaining or maintaining an erection (erectile dysfunction).
Premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation.

Sex therapists can also provide insight & education regarding:

Sex education and correcting miseducation.
Sexual trauma.
Feelings of anxiety, fear or shame related to sex.
Issues around cultural, religious and societal views of sex.
Improving communication about sex and intimacy between you and your partner(s).
Mismatched sexual desire between partners.
Relationship issues related to sexual difficulties.
Body image and its relationship to sex.
Compulsive Sexual Behavior (commonly referred to as “sex addiction”)

What happens during a sex therapy session?

During sessions, you and your sex therapist will talk together to identify and evaluate concerns and behaviors that may be interfering with your sexual life. You may see your therapist as an individual or as a couple.

During a session, a sex therapist will ask questions about your health and sexual background, sex education, beliefs about sex and, of course, your specific sexual concerns.

As sex is considered taboo in western society, talking about sex can be awkward or uncomfortable. Sex therapists understand this and aim to make you feel comfortable during these discussions. As conversation is the main part of psychotherapy, clients need to be actively involved in conversation for therapy to be effective. Trust and rapport between you and your therapist are essential to working together effectively.

At times, sex therapists may assign activities and exercises that are completed after session & in the privacy of your home. This often involves experimentation, such as role playing or activities to build trust and intimacy, either individually or with your partner.

Common Misconceptions

It’s important to know that sex therapy sessions do not involve any physical contact or sexual activity between you and your therapist. Inapporiate behavior such as sexual contact with a client is illegal & cause for the revocation of the therapist’s license to practice.

It is important to note that sex therapists are not medical physicians (unless a psychiatrist is also a sex therapist) do not treat physical or medical conditions that affect sex, such as low testosterone or hormone therapy. Many times, a sex therapist may recommend that you see a primary healthcare provider, gynecologist or urologist for any sexual function issues first to see if there are any underlying physical causes.

Just as your medical health is integral to your well-being, so is your mental and sexual health. Sex therapists are available to help.