Sometimes what we call a “preference” in relationships or sexuality is actually an insecurity in disguise. Instead of expressing vulnerability as fear of rejection, not feeling desirable, discomfort with intimacy, we mask it as a firm preference: liking only certain sexual positions, needing the lights off, avoiding certain touch or insisting we “just don’t like” something. From an existential sex therapy perspective, these patterns often reveal deeper anxieties about being seen, chosen or worthy. When partners become curious about whether a preference is rooted in genuine desire or in self-protection, they create the possibility for more authentic intimacy. Naming the insecurity beneath the preference can expand freedom, deepen connection, and open space for new erotic possibilities.

Clients frequently ask how to stop attracting narcissists. From an existential perspective, the focus is less on labels and more on the relational patterns that allow narcissistic dynamics to persist. This work centers on boundaries as expressions of selfhood rather than strategies, inviting clients to face fear, reclaim agency and choose relationships grounded in reciprocity and authenticity.

When you commit to a goal that requires depth and focus, some relationships naturally fall away. Many acquaintances are bonded by shared routines or avoidance rather than genuine intimacy and when your priorities shift, those bonds lose their foundation. From an existential perspective this is not failure or selfishness but differentiation. You are choosing authorship over comfort and that choice changes who can walk alongside you. The loneliness that often follows is not emptiness but space for more aligned and meaningful connections to form. Losing people in this season is not a sign that something is wrong. It is often evidence that you are becoming.

A new study shows that parents with young children who intentionally plan sex—after shifting their beliefs about its benefits—have more sex overall, feel more desire, and experience less sexual obligation and distress. While many people assume spontaneous sex is more satisfying, existential sex therapy highlights that this belief is cultural, not universal. Planning sex offers agency, anticipation, and mutuality—especially in busy seasons of life. For couples overwhelmed by parenting demands, intentionally scheduling intimacy can restore connection, increase desire, and reduce pressure. As a Houston sex therapist, I encourage partners to see planned intimacy not as a failure of passion, but as a meaningful choice to prioritize their erotic relationship.

This post offers a rare personal glimpse into the long and largely unseen road behind advanced training in sex therapy. As a deeply private person, I share why completing 240 documented hours of sexuality and sex therapy education within a PhD program in clinical sexology matters, how it exceeds the typical 150-hour CST baseline and what this depth of training actually represents. I reflect on the quiet fatigue and persistence required by the process and explain why properly trained sex therapists often charge more. For those searching for a Houston sex therapist with advanced specialization, this is a transparent look at what lives beneath the title.

This blog post, written from the perspective of an existential sex therapist, explores Carl Jung’s idea that the unconscious shapes our lives until we become aware of it — often mistaking repetitive relational and sexual patterns as "fate." By integrating Jungian psychology, existentialism and Stoicism, the post encourages readers to examine their inner world, take responsibility for their choices and approach intimacy with intention rather than compulsion. True freedom in love and sexuality begins when we make the unconscious conscious and choose awareness over autopilot.