Sex Therapy: How It Can Improve Intimacy, Relationships, and Sexual Wellness
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First things first: What exactly is sex therapy & what does a sex therapist do?
Sex therapists are licensed mental health professionals (psychotherapists, psychologists, psychiatrists) that engage in talk therapy to assist clients in resolving mental or emotional aspects of sex-related issues. Sex therapists engage in additional education beyond licensure have a more profound understanding of human sexuality. Sex therapists use psychotherapy (talk therapy) to help clients work through sexual issues. Sex therapists work with individuals, couples & polyamorous partners.
Sex therapists can help treat various iterations of sexual dysfunction that have psychological aspects. As many relationships have a sexual component, the mental and emotional facets of our relationships play a role in sexual health. Sex therapists should work with clients in a supportive, nonjudgmental, inclusive and safe environment.
How does sex therapy help?
Sex therapists utilize various evidence-based treatments to assist clients with improving their sex lives. Most often, sex therapists use psychotherapy (known as talk therapy). Psychotherapy involves cultivating a talking relationship to establish and assess a client’s feelings, thoughts and behaviors. Options of psychotherapy for sex therapy may include:
Existential Psychotherapy.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.
Mindfulness-based interventions.
Couples communication techniques.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
Is sex therapy confidential?
Confidentiality is integral to the field of sex therapy. As part of a licensed sex therapist’s code of ethics, it is required that sex therapists prioritize confidentiality and maintaining your privacy. Psychotherapists who violate client confidentiality risk losing their ability to practice therapy.
What issues do sex therapists treat?
Sexual activity & intimacy is a complex experience that involves your emotional, mental and physical self. If one is desirous of sexual activity in any way, sexual function is an important contributor to quality of life and your well-being. If clients have sexual trauma in their history, this can also play a role in how they present sexually. Sexual trauma therapy also falls within sex therapy.
Sex therapists and sex educators view sexual activity through Rosemary Basson’s circular model sexual response cycle:
Thomas, Holly N. et al. (2016). Biopsychosocial approach to women’s sexual function and dysfunction at midlife: A narrative review.
Maturitas, Volume 87, 49 - 60
Sexual issues can arise at any point during this sexual response cycle. Understanding how you respond mentally and physically during each phase can improve your sexual experience and help you pinpoint causes of sexual dysfunction.
A sex therapist can help help you uncover the mental & emotional aspects of various types of sexual dysfunction, including:
Lack of desire.
Lack of arousal.
Difficulty having an orgasm (anorgasmia).
Difficulty obtaining or maintaining an erection (erectile dysfunction).
Sex therapists can also provide insight & education regarding:
Sex education and correcting miseducation.
Sexual trauma.
Feelings of anxiety, fear or shame related to sex.
Issues around cultural, religious and societal views of sex.
Improving communication about sex and intimacy between you and your partner(s).
Mismatched sexual desire between partners.
Relationship issues related to sexual difficulties.
Body image and its relationship to sex.
Compulsive Sexual Behavior (commonly referred to as “sex addiction”)
What happens during a sex therapy session?
During sessions, you and your sex therapist will talk together to identify and evaluate concerns and behaviors that may be interfering with your sexual life. You may see your therapist as an individual or as a couple.
During a session, a sex therapist will ask questions about your health and sexual background, sex education, beliefs about sex and, of course, your specific sexual concerns.
As sex is considered taboo in western society, talking about sex can be awkward or uncomfortable. Sex therapists understand this and aim to make you feel comfortable during these discussions. As conversation is the main part of psychotherapy, clients need to be actively involved in conversation for therapy to be effective. Trust and rapport between you and your therapist are essential to working together effectively.
At times, sex therapists may assign activities and exercises that are completed after session & in the privacy of your home. This often involves experimentation, such as role playing or activities to build trust and intimacy, either individually or with your partner.
Common Misconceptions
It’s important to know that sex therapy sessions do not involve any physical contact or sexual activity between you and your therapist. Inapporiate behavior such as sexual contact with a client is illegal & cause for the revocation of the therapist’s license to practice.
It is important to note that sex therapists are not medical physicians (unless a psychiatrist is also a sex therapist) do not treat physical or medical conditions that affect sex, such as low testosterone or hormone therapy. Many times, a sex therapist may recommend that you see a primary healthcare provider, gynecologist or urologist for any sexual function issues first to see if there are any underlying physical causes.
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Just as your medical health is integral to your well-being, so is your mental and sexual health. Sex therapists are available to help.