5 Signs It’s Time to See a Sex Therapist

Houston Sex Therapy | Houston Sexual Trauma Therapy | Houston Sex Therapist

Are you wondering exactly what a sex therapist does? First things first. No, they do not have sex with their clients. 

Now that we got that out of the way….

Sex therapy is psychotherapy or talk therapy to treat individuals and couples with issues related to sex & relationships. Sex therapists are fully licensed mental health professionals who are educated & trained to administer psychotherapy to clients experiencing sexual issues and concerns. 

Sex therapists have extensive knowledge of human sexuality — exceedingly more than the 2 hours that we were pulled out of class for in the 5th grade. Sex therapists use this knowledge of sexuality & clinical psychology to help clients attain their personal relationship goals. The focus is on sexuality & relationships and how those aspects impact an individual or a couple’s functioning.

People are often uncertain of when to see a sex therapist vs. a general mental health therapist. The reality is that if you have a sex-related concern that needs to be addressed, a sex therapist may provide insight. A general therapist may be able to assist you as well. However, sex therapists have embarked upon specialized training and are very knowledgeable of topics that are sex related. 

But when should you seek sex therapy?

Houston Sex Therapy | Houston Sexual Trauma Therapy | Houston Sex Therapist

1. Desire/Arousal
   
   The most common reason people consider sex therapy is for a change in sexual desire or if one experiences “mismatched desire” in relation to their partner. In couple’s sex therapy, this concern is quite common & creates quite the challenge when there is a desire discrepancy in the couple. Without properly addressing this discrepancy, the effect on the relationship can be considerable.
   
   The second most common reason people consider sex therapy is for changes or difficulty with sexual arousal. Without sexual arousal, a satisfying sexual experience may prove elusive. Both arousal and desire issues are often related, incredibly common, but also very achievable in sex therapy. 
   

2. Sexual Confidence
   
   Many people struggle with sexual confidence. Everything related to sex places one in the most vulnerable position possible. Concerns with sexual confidence can make it difficult to stay mentally present during sex. If we have anxiety about our bodies or what the other may be thinking, then we are not in the right mindset to embrace all that our partner can emotionally offer. Sexual confidence concerns can present as body image issues, obsessing over genital size or appearance, thinking about pleasing or disappointing a partner, having the agency to communicate what you want, or even having the ability to talk about sex. A sex therapist can assist you with identifying the issue & treating it, as well as empowering clients in their sexuality. 
   

3. Sexual Dysfunctions
   
   When many people think of sex therapy, sexual dysfunction is what comes to mind. Approximately 43% of women and 31% of men experience some form of sexual dysfunction. When people think of sexual dysfunction the following issues spring to mind: erectile dysfunction, female pain disorders, orgasm difficulty and delayed/premature ejaculation. 
   
   These concerns are often treated via talk therapy accompanied by psychological interventions. These treatment options can increase insight and understanding of the issue. Some psychological interventions assist in examining the role of shame, guilt, anxiety, relational challenges or cemented beliefs that can exacerbate the sexual dysfunction. 
   
   Often, “homework assignments” executed at home help with improving the issue. Homework may include mindfulness exercises to use before, during or after sexual experiences to improve sexual satisfaction & performance.

   Before starting sex therapy work, medical evaluations with an OB/GYN or urologist are often recommended to rule out medical causes of sexual dysfunction. In the event that a medical cause is identified, sex therapy can often be beneficial to learn to cope with an issue that is chronic in nature.
   

4. Compulsive Sexual Behaviors
   
   Even amongst sex therapists, the matter of compulsive sexual behaviors is controversial. It is so controversial that even the name of the concern is fiercely debated. It has been called out of control sexual behavior, sex addiction, sexual compulsivity, hypersexuality and, of course, compulsive sexual behavior. The reason that it is hotly contested is that it is debatable as to if it can be properly categorized as an addiction. Many sex therapists question if it truly fits the diagnostic criteria for an addiction as addiction is currently defined. Not everyone agrees that it is in fact an addiction. Some experts believe it to be more of a sexual health problem within a larger consideration of human behavior, not a psychiatric or addictive disorder. Either way, these behaviors cause distress and impact overall functioning. 
   
   Sexual behaviors that feel compulsive are a valid reason to see a sex therapist. Sex therapists have engaged in training specifically to treat the compulsive sexual behavior without fanning the flames of shame or guilt. Sex therapists have been trained to skillfully address these concerns in a compassionate & nonjudgmental manner.
    

5. Sexual Trauma Recovery
   
   Anyone that is treating clients for sex therapy exclusively is also well-versed in various forms of trauma, including sexual trauma. Experienced sexual trauma therapists assist sexual trauma survivors in working through a traumatic experience at the pace that is best for the client. Since a sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional, trauma work is often second nature. The advantage that a sex therapist has lies in the knowledge and experience of assisting clients through the trauma, but also embracing their sexuality in an empowering way after the trauma of assault. Reclaiming pleasure & sexuality is incredibly empowering especially after sexual trauma. Sex therapists are adept in this area. 
   

Insecurities, fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection or abandonment are the often culpable in sexual dysfunction. A sex therapist can assist with navigating these concerns.

Houston Sex Therapy | Houston Sexual Trauma Therapy | Houston Sex Therapist

Believe it or not, sex therapy looks just like traditional talk therapy except the topic of conversation sometimes includes sex. Sex therapists are licensed mental health professionals who have completed specialized training to better understand human sexuality, sexual functioning and how that affects us psychologically.

Houston Sex Therapy | Houston Sexual Trauma Therapy | Houston Sex Therapist

Both couples & individuals can receive insight & experience positive relationship changes from working with a sex therapist. If you have experienced any of the five aforementioned concerns, you may be a candidate for sex therapy.